Your Morning Cereal – Some Funny Quotes to Start Your Day

Here are some funny quotes from some pretty funny people…

“I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick — not wounded — dead.”

– Woody Allen

“For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.”

– Johnny Carson

“Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.”

-Ben Franklin

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir … mighty scarce.”

-Mark Twain

“We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.”


“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”   

-Winston Churchill

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight!”

-Phyllis Diller


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Filed under Morning Cereal, Politics

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